Guilt, Forgiving, Living
by LordExetor
Summary: ME1 AU: Spectre Solana Vakarian evaluates Shepard – and survives Sarens shot on Eden Prime. Julius Hon tries to escape his past and joins the Normandy together with his friend Garrus. But it seems the galaxy has other plans for him and the ex-C-Sec Officer … Rated M for future chapters. FemShepxGarrus and later also SolanaxOC.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: A few days ago, I had this idea of Solana working as a Spectre - and being the one to evaluate Shepard, instead of Nihlus. Also, I'm a fan of turian/human relationships and since there are very few of those with female turians out there, I wanted to bring this part in as well. However, there is a backstory for the OC (and don't worry, he is not SI), which will be told in more detail, as the story continues.  
>Since this is my first FanFic, I would be very grateful for your reviews (especially those, who tell me what I could improve). Enjoy reading!<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, the Mass Effect universe or any characters within - they belong to BioWare.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Guilt<strong>

**Huerta Memorial Hospital, Citadel ****Praesidium**** 2183**

"You can see her now. She is aware of her surroundings, but we doubt that she will be able to talk or move within the next hours or even days," the young asari doctor said. Garrus nodded and silently stepped into the room.

Julius Hon wanted to give his friend some privacy, so he sat down on one of the benches in the middle of the main floor of Huerta Memorial.

_Don't fool yourself, Jul. That's not the real reason you don't __want to __go in there_, he thought.

True, he _really_ didn't want to go in there. Julius hadn't wanted to come to Huerta at all, but Garrus had threaded to shoot him if he wouldn't – and it hadn't been a joke.

So now Julius sat here, in front of the door to her room, and waited for Garrus to finish talking to her. Well, he hoped that the C-Sec Officer never came out again. Julius was not sure, if he was able to face her. Even after all this time. Even if she couldn't respond to him.

After what felt like a few minutes, through Julius was sure it was much longer, the door opened again and Garrus stepped out. His ice blue eyes pieced into Julius' brown ones and for a few seconds neither of them spoke a word.

They didn't need to. They knew, what each other would say, since they had this conversation many times before. _Too many times_, Julius thought. He practically heard Garrus say '_You are going in there now. You have been hiding long enough. Don't keep up with this shit, it's pointless.'_

Julius didn't react. He knew that Garrus was right. He knew that all the time, since he had started hiding, but Julius was still unconvinced.

"Please, Jul," Garrus said out aloud, "If not for your own good, do it for her."

Slowly Julius nodded. He stood up, stepped to the door, and stopped right in front of it. Julius hesitated.

_Am I ready to do this?_

No. No, of course he wasn't. He hadn't been all this time. But now Garrus' word echoed in his head: _"__Do it for __her."_ Julius always had known that someday he would have to face her. Maybe today was this someday.

So Julius took a deep breath and touched the green holo-panel. The door opened itself and he stepped inside. The room was pretty empty. There was only one table in the corner, covered with various tools and medicine bottles, and a bedside right in front of the large bottom-to-ceiling window that provided an astonishing view over the Praesidium.

As his eyes fell on the female turian laying in the bed, he froze. A white blanket covered her nearly completely. Her right shoulder has been bandaged up and blue blood dropped through an IV into her left arm. It seemed, she had lost a lot of blood if a blood bottle was needed.

_I wasn't there for her … again._

That hurt. Slowly Julius stepped at her bedside and observed her face. She looked nearly exactly like he remembered her: the silver-grey plates, deep blue colony markings and the short fringe typical for turian females. But she looked older too, not longer the teenager he once knew.

Julius wasn't sure what to do. Since the nurse said, she could hear him, he started to speak.

"Hi, it's … it's me, Jul." Julius stopped, unsure how to continue. Saying he was nervous would be the understatement of the century.

"This morning, Garrus came to me. We both work at C-Sec and he had a new case for us, the investigation of a rogue spectre. Saren Arterius. We've met a couple of humans. Their leader, Commander Shepard, came from a human colony. Eden Prime. It was attacked by the g_eth!_"

Julius still couldn't fully believe that those AIs moved in to the galaxy after 300 years. Why now? Why at all? Well, at least that part was clear: a prothean beacon had been uncovered on Eden Prime. Just as Shepard's ship, the _Normandy_, came into the system to transport it to the Citadel, the geth attacked.

"As we met the Commander in the Citadel Tower, she was on her way to the Council. But we still had nothing to prove that Arterius went rogue. Garrus asked Shepard, what she knew about him. And do you know, what she told us?"

Julius waited a few seconds, remembering, how the revelation had shocked him. Then, he continued, "The Commander told us that Arterius shot a fellow spectre and that she was heavily injured. _And_, that this injured spectre is a person, Garrus and I both know very well."

Julius struggled. Now, this was the point at which he decided to make his confession after all. It couldn't get any worse so he decided to get it over with. He already waited too long.

"Well, at least I _used_ to know her very well. We haven't seen each other in what? Fifteen years? I've spent eight years in an asari Monastery. They taught me, how to use my biotics to defend myself. That was right after the accident. After what happened, I … I had to go.

"I stayed in contact with my parents. We've messaged from time to time. But … but I couldn't face your father. Or your brother. And they just handed you over to the cabals. I have told your father that I would look out for you. To not let them know what you are. To not allow that to happen, what happened. And I failed him. I failed you.

"If I was strong enough to fight this asshole off myself, you wouldn't have needed to step in. I forced you to use your biotics in public. I'm responsible that they discovered your potential. I can't even imagine, what the cabals did to you. But I've heard stories about their …_methods._

"There was one thing I knew, I could rely on. My guilt. The guilt of my failure. I swore, I never would allow something like that to happen ever again. I went to this asari Monastery on Kallini. The asari there are very powerful biotics and taught me how to use mine to defend myself.

"There was no day, I didn't remember what happened. And … I am sorry. I am sorry that I failed you, that I wasn't careful enough. You trusted me, and I … I wasn't …"

Julius fell silent again, his voice failing him.

He wished, he could change the past. He wished, that this very day hadn't went that way. But it had. And there was nothing for Julius to do. All he could do, was to suffer from the knowledge that he destroyed her chance of a normal life that day.

Julius shook his head. Now, that he told her what he felt, the weight on his shoulders was not as heavy as before. It was still there of course, his guilt wouldn't disappear just because he talked to her about it, but maybe Garrus was right. Maybe talking to her would help him to overcome his guilt someday.

Julius raised his hand to caress her mandibles, but stopped.

_You have no right to do that __anymore__._

Instead, he laid his hand on hers, five fingers enclosing her three taloned ones and said: "Come back soon. Shepard needs your help against Saren Arterius. And … I need you to forgive me. Even if I can't forgive myself."

_Especially, if I can't forgive myself._

Julius let go of her and slowly walked to the door. Before he left, he looked back at her, peacefully resting on her bedside, and whispered: "Bye … Sol."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello again, chapter 2 is out! First of all, thank you for your likes, follows and especially reviews (I can only correct myself if I know what I'm doing wrong, right?) I tried to change the original dialogue but on some places I couldn't find something more fitting. And I promise, those dialogues from the game will not occur very often, this is an AU story after all.  
>That being said, have fun reading!<strong>

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><p><strong>The Mission<strong>

**Council Chambers, Citadel Tower 2183**

"You wanted proof Saren's a traitor? There it is!" Ambassador Udina said, pointing at the councillors after presenting the audio log that Tali'Zorah had extracted from the geth unit.

"This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status, and all affords will be made to bring him into answer to his crimes." the turian councillor, Sparatus said.

Tevos glanced at him briefly before she added, "I recognize the other voice, the one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia."

Shepard frowned. She had heard about that title before and asked, "Aren't Matriarchs very old asari who form your government?"

The asari nodded, "True, and they are powerful biotics. Lady Benezia has many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren."

"I am more interested in those 'Reapers'," Valern said, "What do we know about them?"

At that Captain Anderson spoke up, "Only, what we extracted from the geth's memory. The Reapers were an ancient race of machines who wiped out the protheans. Then they vanished."

"The geth believe they are gods, and that Saren is the prophet of their return," Shepard said, her voice neural, and her face stoic.

"We think, the Conduit is the key to bringing them back," Anderson continued, "Saren is searching for it. That's why he attacked Eden Prime."

"Do we even know, what this Conduit is?", Valern asked.

_When Saren is searching for it, it can't be good,_ Shepard thought and said, "Whatever it is, we cannot allow Saren to reach it."

Sparatus snorted. "Listen to what you are saying! Saren wants to bring back a race of machines that wiped out the protheans? That's ridiculous."

"Besides that, there is absolutely no evidence in the whole galaxy that the Reapers really exist. This geth memory drive is the first to mention them," Valern added.

Shepard clenched her fists. Of course they wouldn't believe her. Did they learn nothing in those past few hours? Trying to keep her voice even, she said, "You didn't trust me what I told you about Saren. Don't make that same mistake again."

"This is different," Tevos replied, "You have proven that Saren is a traitor. But at this moment we do not know, what his plans are. We have no idea, what the Conduit is and why Saren is working with the geth."

"The Reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander. It is convincing enough to bend the geth to his will, and, as it seems, to let you believe it too."

_That cocky little bastard!_ Shepard glared at the salarian councillor. Maybe next time she should let the prothean beacon mess with his head. That should help him to see the truth. Shepard couldn't keep the venom out of her voice, as she spoke again.

"50000 years ago the Reapers wiped out all galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit, it _will_ happen again!"

But Sparatus shook his head and said "Saren has no longer the rights and resources of a Spectre, the Council has stripped him of his position. He is now on the run for his life."

"That is not good enough!", Udina protested, "You know he is hiding somewhere in the Traverse, send your fleet in!"

"The fleet cannot track one man", Valern pointed out dryly.

"You could protect the entire region. Keep the geth from attacking more of our colonies", the ambassador demanded.

"Or we could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems!", Sparatus replied. "We won't risk a galactic conflict over a few human colonies."

"I knew it!", Shepard no longer trying to hide her anger. It was pointless anyway. "You never do something if Humanity is asking for help. Why should you now? What are a few worthless colonist's lives anyway?", she said sarcastically.

"Shepard's right", Udina nodded, "I'm sick of this Council and his anti-human bull-"

"_Ambassador!", _Tevos interrupted him, "There might be another way. One that doesn't require to send the fleet."

"I will hunt Arterius down", a female voice called out from behind Shepard.

Everyone turned around at the female turian standing a few steps beside Officer Vakarian. Shepard inspected her closely. Now, that Shepard saw them both, she recognized that she looked nearly exactly the same as Garrus: same silver-grey plates, same ice-blue eyes, same cobalt blue markings … The only differences really were that she was a bit smaller, had longer mandibles, no fringe, and a less bulkier appearance. But that could also be due to his blue C-Sec armour. Councillor Sparatus was the first to speak again and sounded truly surprised.

"Spectre Vakarian, we have heard that you were severely injured."

Solana spread her mandibles in what Shepard supposed was a wide grin and answered "Well, it wasn't all that bad, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here."

Tevos said "Still, you are not in any condition to go on missions, let alone hunting a rogue Spectre", and pointed at the bandage on Solana's shoulder where Saren had shot her. But the Spectre didn't seem to bother at all and answered calmly "That's why I'll be taking Commander Shepard with me. She is still a Spectre candidate and I cannot think of a better opportunity for her to prove her skill. I will observe Shepards progress until I'm fit for active duty myself again."

With that, the councillors were stunned silent, and everyone else as well. Shepard couldn't believe, what she heard. This turian hadn't just put her forward on the list of Spectre candidates, but also asked the Council to let _her_ hunt down Saren. She really didn't care that Shepard was human. Not for the first time the Commander asked herself, why the Spectre was so open-minded.

"As you wish, Spectre Vakarian", Tevos said, "We trust your judgement and that you know your limits. Your mission is to bring justice upon Saren Arterius." Valern continued, "You are liberated to use any means to apprehend or eliminate him." "Good luck. This meeting is adjourned" With that Tevos stepped back from her console and left the room, followed by Sparatus and Valern.

As soon as the Councillors were gone, Officer Vakarian stepped forward to embrace his sister. He was careful not to touch her bandage however and said "Spirits, Sol. What did you think? You were at Huerta for a reason." His voice was only half serious, and it sounded like he also tried to mock her.

Seemingly this wasn't the first time she had been injured and ignored the doctor's advice. Shepard grinned. The Spectre reminded her of herself.

Solana just chuckled and padded her brother on his shoulders. "Why am I not surprised to see you ended up with the Commander? Guess, your investigation was quite successful."

Garrus laughed. "Actually, the visit at Huerta Memorial gave us a lead and as we followed it, we ran into Shepard."

Ambassador Udina cleared his throat and shot an angry glance at Solana and her brother. Then he turned to Shepard and said "We need to find you a ship and a crew for this mission, Commander. It seems you already have a team to follow you."

His dislike about the multi-species team was obvious, but he didn't voiced his opinion. Instead, he continued, "Commander, meet me and the Captain with your team at the _Normandy_ in two hours."

He turned to leave and told Anderson to follow him, then they both went away.

"Not even a congratulation for finding the evidence. The ambassador really is an asshole", Ashley said.

"Yeah, for everything you have done, he could be much more thankful", Tali agreed.

Shepard looked around. Wrex and Julius Hon were already gone, but Ashley, Kaidan, Tali and the Vakarians still remained in the Council Chambers. They looked at her expecting, so she shrugged her shoulders and said "Udina is a politician, what can you expect of him. Alright, guys, you've heard Udina meet you at the _Normandy_ in two hours. Go grab your things, if they aren't already there, and be punctual."

* * *

><p><strong>Docking Bay 422, Citadel Docks 2183<strong>

Julius stood at the far end of the walkway which was connected to the _SSV Normandy_ and enjoyed the beauty of the nebula surrounding the Citadel. He was the first to come, one and a half hour after the audience in the Citadel Tower. Julius had left as soon as he could, no need to disrupt the little family union. Garrus and Solana hadn't seen each other in years. Julius had returned to his apartment and packed his things. Well, at least the important stuff: his tech equipment, battle staff, other weapons and clothes.

It has been quite some time since he'd worn something besides his C-Sec outfit and armour. He wore a simple black robe and black hamaka, the wide clothes giving him better mobility, which came in handy when he was in trouble. And on a mission like that trouble was the only guarantee. Julius had left his C-Sec clothes and armour behind in his apartment however, as well as his brand. Executioner Pallin wouldn't be happy when he found out that two of his detectives left.

Julius heard heavy steps behind his back. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was, only the krogan made noise like that. Instead, Julius continued to stare into the nebula in front of him, wondering how he should act in front of the Spectre. Should he openly show everyone that he knew her?

_She knows, that's enough._

Right, as long as nobody asked, he wouldn't say anything. But he wouldn't lie either. He never lied.

One by one the rest of the team arrived. First the quarian girl, nervous like hell. Julius knew how she felt right now. On her pilgrimage she surely didn't meet many individuals, who treated her as an equal. Shepard however, gave Tali'Zorah the chance to be a member of her team, just as Julius had been given a chance 26 years ago after being a social outcast.

A few minutes later, the Alliance soldiers Alenko and Williams, Shepard and the Vakarians appeared as well. At exactly 1800, Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina stepped out of the _Normandy's_ airlock.

"I have big news Shepard," Udina said, "Captain Anderson is stepping down as the CO of the _Normandy_. The ship is yours now."

"She is quick and quiet and you know the crew. The perfect ship for hunting a rogue Spectre." added Anderson.

Julius saw the shock in the Commanders emerald eyes. But other than that her face remained stoic. That couldn't be said from the others. Garrus trilled surprised, however, besides his sister and Julius nobody could hear him. _Advantage of working with a turian._

"Concerning the mission," Udina continued, his gaze wandering towards Solana, eyes narrowing, "We are aware that this is your mission. But the _Normandy_ is an Alliance ship and therefore an Alliance officer is in charge. You are not in the position to give orders to the crew, nor to Shepard."

_Well, that was nice,_ Julius thought and half expected Solana to punch the ambassador in his face. He knew that Udina feared, Solana could assume control over the _Normandy._ But she remained calm and answered "I am aware of my position of an advisor, Ambassador Udina. _I_ should remind _you _that I am the reason the Commander is even allowed to hunt Arterius down. And I'm the reason Shepard's a Spectre candidate. Believe me, if I wanted to steal your ship, I would have already done it."

Udina seemed satisfied enough and Anderson said to Shepard "We have reports of geth attacking a human colony on Feros and Lady Benezia has been seen on Noveria."

"The Matriarch has a daughter, Liara T'Soni. She is an archaeologist and is currently studying prothean ruins somewhere in the Artemis Tau cluster.", Udina added.

Shepard nodded and looked worried at Anderson. "This doesn't feel right. The _Normandy _is your ship. They can't just force you to step down."

The Captain smiled sadly, "Don't worry about me, Shepard. I knew, this day would come. Besides, you can do much more good with her than I could. Trust me, this is the best solution."

Shepard nodded again and the ambassador and Captain Anderson went away towards the elevator.

"Lieutenant, quarter the team. Everyone comes aboard now. We're leaving." With that Shepard entered the airlock. The others followed and Julius tried to ignore Solana's gaze while being decontaminated. He knew, they would have to talk soon, but he didn't look forward to it.

Being trapped on a ship with her was not something he would enjoy. But he also couldn't just stay behind.

_I've failed you once. I won't fail you again. I will repay my debt as good as I can._

This mission would indeed become very interesting …


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Departure**

**SSV Normandy, Citadel Docks 2183**

After stepping aboard the _Normandy, _Shepard was greeted by her helmsman.

"Hey Commander, welcome back. Had fun playing detective the whole day?"

"Well, it wasn't too boring, since there were a few assassins and thugs we had to shoot through. I suppose, you've heard the news?" Shepard answered, remembering the mess they had made out of Chora's Den.

"That you are my new boss? Or that we are going to hunt the best Spectre in this whole damn galaxy?"

Shepard chuckled at Jokers antics and shook her head. "Both, I guess," she said, "But I am sorry for Anderson. This was his ship and he'd been kicked out by politics."

Shepard heard Kaidan guiding her team through the CIC and Solana stepping beside her. Joker noticed her too and said surprised "Spectre Vakarian, didn't expect you to be up so soon again. Things on Eden Prime have been pretty nasty. You know … with the geth attack … and the bullet through your shoulder."

The Spectre flared her mandibles and answered, "Thanks, Joker. But it is Solana from now on."

"Sure, our relationship is ready for this?", the helmsman joked. Solana seemed to have noticed his mocking tone and clarified, "Unless you want to have two turians standing in your cockpit the next time you ask for 'Vakarian', it would be better if you address my brother and I with our forenames."

Joker locked eyes with Shepard, a questioning look on his face. The Commander shrugged. "We've found him investigating Saren. He wanted to come along. As well, as a krogan, a quarian, and his partner in C-Sec.

The helmsman whistled. "Wow, now we just need an asari, drell, hanar, salarian and elcor."

"Speaking of asari," Shepard said, "Set course to the Artemis Tau cluster and search for prothean ruins. Benezias daughter is currently researching them and could be an important source of information."

"Alright, Commander. I'll tell you when I find something."

Giving him a thankful nod, Shepard left the cockpit, followed by Solana. The Spectre didn't show if she agreed with Shepards decision, but didn't show any signs of opposition to the Commander's plan. Shepard just hoped, she wouldn't mess this up like Eden Prime.

* * *

><p>Solana went down to the mess hall. Pressly wanted to speak with the Commander privately, obviously about all the aliens aboard the <em>Normandy<em>. Solana knew that many of the crew were weary of her on her first ride. There were still grudges against turians from the Relay 314 Incident. Especially family members of those who had fought in the 'First Contact War', as the humans called it, like Pressly, distrusted her.

Solana hoped, that Shepard becoming a Spectre would ease the tension between humans and turians. She knew the Commander had the potential – fighting off an invasion of batarian pirates nearly single-handed was proof of that.

Shepards decision to go after T'Soni first was the one, Solana would have made too. As the Matriarchs daughter, her knowledge about Benezias plans would be vital. And if she somehow wasn't involved, her expertise about the protheans could come in handy.

In the mess hall, Solana grabbed a dextro ration bar and sat down opposite of Lieutenant Alenko. He was one of the more open-minded soldiers on the _Normandy_ and actually tried to work with non-humans.

Right now, he was eating a grey mass that was supposed to be a soup of some kind. His facial expression told her that it tasted as bad as it looked. Solana bit in her ration bar which was thankfully tasteless.

Alenko rubbed his forehead with his hand and grimaced. Solana was good enough in interpreting human expressions to know, that it had nothing to do with the food.

"Are you ok?" she asked. He looked surprised at first, then nodded slightly. "Yeah, everything's good, don't worry. Just a migraine coming."

"That's some sort of headache, right?", Solana asked. She'd heard about it before, and that it was very uncomfortable.

"Yeah. But I don't mind. There are much worse side effects then an occasional migraine."

Solana trilled questioning, but then remembered that most humans couldn't hear sub-vocals. So she asked, "Side effects?"

"I'm a biotic. I've been given a L2-implant. At the time, we knew little about biotics and the implants were … not perfect. There are nasty side effects, reaching from headaches to severe neurological damage. Those flaws had been removed with the L3's, but you can's simply replace an implant."

This information stunned Solana. She knew that humans used implants to enhance their biotic power. But it never really occurred to her that there might be implications with the tech. Suddenly, Solana was glad that Julius had never received one.

"Why did you accept the implant when you knew the side effects?", she asked. Kaidan shrugged.

"Hadn't much of a choice. The Alliance gets what she wants, and human biotics? That kind of power was too enticing for them – still is. As soon as they recognized what caused it, they searched for everyone who was born in 2151 and who had been exposed to eezo."

"Singapore." Solana remembered. Alenko looked puzzled.

"How do you know?", he asked.

"A friend of mine was born in the same year. He's a biotic too, but he never received an implant. I was intrigued, how humans could develop biotics and researched a bit."

"He never received an implant? Geez, that's dangerous like hell. There is no way, he could control his biotics without it. And if he wanted make any use of them, they would be far too unfocused and weak to accomplish anything."

_That's not true_, Solana thought. Julius' biotics _were_ focused. And he never used them unconsciously. Maybe, because his emotions never got the better of him. Solana remembered their training: _"Learn, how to control your body and your mind. Once you've achieved that, you are in control of your biotics as well."_ Julius had taught her self-discipline all the day. How to concentrate on one thing and erase all other thoughts. But Solana didn't tell Alenko. If Julius wanted to be discreet about his past, then she wouldn't undermine that.

"You're sleeping in the cargo bay, if that's alright. I've put some mattresses don there. The _Normandy_ isn't built for so many people and the barracks are full..."

"Don't worry, I don't mind. I've slept in caves, so a cargo bay is perfectly fine."

With that, Solana stood and after a nod, she went towards the elevator.

* * *

><p>Ashley was on edge. There were two reasons for that. Firstly, the chance that had been given her. Since her grandfathers capitulation in the First Contact War, the Alliance made sure, a military career for her family was damn near impossible. She had been stationed on Eden Prime, and all of her requests to serve on a ship had been declined. Until now. This was a one-time chance. She couldn't ruin it.<p>

And secondly, the conversation with the Commander a few minutes ago. Especially the part regarding the aliens aboard. Shepard asked Ashley, to put her differences with them aside and to trust them. How was she supposed to _trust_ one of them with her _life_?

There was no way, she would want the krogan on her back. He'd shot Fist, while the guy had been interrogated! The turian from C-Sec was not much better, since he had shot this thug in the clinic, who held Dr. Michel captive. He could have hurt the doctor, but that didn't seem to bother him.

The Spectre was trouble anyway – above the law, allowed to shoot anyone on sight? No, thanks. And the quarian … she was the only one of them, who wasn't outright dangerous. Not in a gunfight at least. But Engineer Adams allowed her full access to the drive core to mess with.

Ashley let out an angry sight and began cleaning the parts of her disassembled gun. Thank God she had the weapons bench for herself. This corner of the cargo bay was secluded enough for no one to stop by. Usually, the only people down here were the male turian working on the Makos weaponry, and the krogan standing on the other side of the room.

A few minutes later, Ashley heard somebody's footsteps coming from Engineering. She looked up and was surprised to see the human C-Sec Officer, Julius Hon, heading in her direction. Well, ex-C-Sec Officer. Although he was clothed very unusual, Ashley had to admit that it fulfilled its purpose: looking ominous. His robe hid his figure completely and gave the illusion of being taller, then he really was.

As they boarded the _Normandy_, Ash didn't give him much attention, but now … Hon saw her looking at him and nodded as a greeting. Ashley nodded back, and he stopped in front of an empty locker without a name tag.

She watched curiously, how he filled it with two heavily modded pistols, a SMG, various tech devises, and _lots_ of knifes and daggers. Then, Hon stripped a long staff, approximately as long as he was tall, from his back and leaned it against the wall at the side of the locker.

"You're not a friend of rifles, are you?", Ashley asked him with a smirk, as he closed the locker.

"No," he answered seriously, "I prefer a direct confrontation. It's more personal."

Ashley chuckled. "That might work, until you're charged by a krogan." she said, glancing shortly at Wrex. "For them you do need a big gun."

"I don't intend to let a hostile krogan live long enough to charge me."

Ashley frowned. "But pistols are not exactly useful to put a krogan down. And knives aren't either. They can't even penetrate their armour."

Hon grinned slyly. "That remains to be seen."

He looked around in the cargo bay and noticed the mattresses next to the doors to engineering. "Is there a particular rule which mattress to pick?"

Ashley was taken aback from the abrupt change of topics. And from the fact that Hon was interested in the sleeping order of the aliens.

"Why do you want to know? We're not down here anyway."

Hon gazed at her questioning.

"Since Anderson stepped back, the Commander bunks in the Captain's quarters. That means, one bunk in the barracks is unoccupied." Ashley explained. _Didn't the Lieutenant tell them where they would sleep?_

"I already told Alenko that I'll be sleeping down here." Hon said.

"You _what_?", Ashley stared at him unbelieving. "You prefer to bunk with those aliens rather than your own species?"

His face became blank, bare of all emotions. The only thing telling Ashley that she just said something _very_ stupid was the coldness in his gaze. There hung a long silence between them. After an eternity, Hon spoke, his voice as emotionless as his facial expression.

"Yes, I do prefer the company of friends I've known for years. Especially, if the alternative are ignorant xenophobes."

And with that he turned around and went to the elevator, leaving a stunned Gunnery Chief behind.

* * *

><p>Shepard climbed through the Makos hatch. It was rather dark inside the vehicle, most of the lights were turned off. However, Garrus' omni-tool emitted an orange glow. It was not much, but enough for Shepard to make out the turian. He tipped away on the Makos console, while she took a seat besides him. Shepard remained silent, not wanting to interrupt Garrus on his work. But as soon as he saw movement, he paused and looked at her.<p>

"Commander."

"Hi, Garrus. What are you doing there? You've missed dinner", Shepard said.

The turian laughed. "I know how bad food is on turian ships. Not really sure, I want to try whatever you are serving as dextro food", he answered amused.

Shepard chuckled. "Yeah, you know, on her last trip Solana stocked up some of it. Since she's a Spectre and not military, I don't think it tastes like shit. Wouldn't be really surprised if it tasted better than ours."

"I don't think it's worth the risk of suffocating on an allergic reaction", Garrus replied.

Shepard shook her head. "I can't tell for everyone else on this ship, but I'm not allergic. They've run several tests while I was in N3." Her lack of allergic reactions had been vital on the several survival missions during N-training. Being able to eat something on a dextro world was a huge advantage over most of Shepards comrades. She frowned. "But you still didn't tell me what you were doing here."

Garrus cleared his throat. "Well, I thought this vehicle – Mako, you call it? I thought it may could use some tweaking. You know, Shield boost, gun calibration, that sort of thing. I like hitting what I'm aiming at."

"Me too", Shepard said, "So you have a knack for tech I see."

Garrus nodded. "Mainly decryption and sabotage. Don't use them often in a fight, I prefer to gun them down from the distance."

"You can handle a sniper rifle?" Shepard asked intrigued.

"I was the best shot at C-Sec. Ask me nicely and I can make it dance.", he said with flattering mandibles. Shepard snorted at that, and answered "No need for that. As long as you hit anything, everything's going to be alright."

Garrus inclined his head. After a pause he asked humoured "Is that a challenge, Commander?"

Shepard smirked. "Next mission we encounter hostiles. Looser spends the drinks."

With that, she stood up and walked out of the Mako. She felt Garrus' gaze on her, but he was too stunned to reply anything. Shepard walked toward the elevator. "_Best shot __at__ C-Sec." Maybe a descend challenge after all._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Next week we are going to meet a certain asari on Therum. Please leave a review, your feedback is much appreciated.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So, here's chapter four for you. Hope, you like it (and if not, tell me what can be improved).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect, the Mass Effect Universe, or anything within.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4: Therum<strong>

**SSV Normandy, Artemis Tau Cluster 2183**

"Commander?"

Shepard opened her eyes and activated her comm. "Joker? What is it?"

The Flight Lieutenant answered, "I think I've found something on Therum. An excavation site of some sort. Seems to be your prothean ruin. I'll keep scanning. Just wanted to let you know."

"Yeah, thanks."

Joker closed the comm and Shepard got up from her bed. _Well, that was fast_, she thought. The Commander had expected to have to search at least three or four days, until they've found the prothean ruins. But they left the Citadel not one day ago. It certainly had its perks to work with the best men and women the Alliance had to offer.

After getting dressed, Shepard left her cabin to grab something to eat. She checked her omni-tool. 0630. That was pretty early, Shepard thought as she left her cabin. The Commander headed to the Mess Hall, lost in her thoughts.

_Who should be on the team? I think, I'll take Hon with me, and Alenko if his migraine is gone. Well, and Garrus. I'm curious if he really is that good. _

"Good morning, Commander_."_

Shepard startled and looked around. The Mess Hall was empty, but at the end of the corridor where the stasis pods were placed sat somebody in the shadows. She couldn't exactly see his face at the distance, but remembered his voice.

"Morning, Hon."

Shepard curiously walked towards him. "What are you doing here?"

"My morning meditation. It's quite impossible down in the Cargo Bay, with a snoring krogan."

Shepard chuckled. "And I suppose sleeping with turians isn't much better."

"Turians don't snore." Hon deadpanned.

They fell in silence for some seconds. Shepard observed Hon closely. His breath was deep and calm and he didn't stir. Then, she asked Hon, "How do you think, Garrus copes with his sister on board?"

At that, he stirred slightly. Slowly Hon answered, "That depends. They didn't see each other very often lately. Of course they stayed in contact, but it's not really the same. The real question is, how does he cope with his sister being a Spectre."

"Why so?" If Shepard still had a sister, she would be proud if she would have become a Spectre. But thanks to the batarians, this would never happen.

"Garrus' father was one of the best C-Sec officers at his time. He still has some connections and used them to hold his son off Spectre training.", Hon said matter-of-factly.

"He what?", Shepard was stunned. Why would Vakarian prohibit Garrus from Spectre training but not Solana? That didn't make any sense. "I take it, Garrus wasn't really fond of him after that?"

Hon shook his head. "He wasn't. Their relationship always had been … complicated. Garrus thought, his father wanted him to follow in his footsteps and held him off because of that. Well, until yesterday that was."

"I would be pretty pissed about that too. I mean, it's Garrus' life! He can do what he wants to do, can't he?"

Hon chuckled. "You're human. Turian society works differently. Somebodys father has a great deal to say about his children, even if they're mature. For example, arranged matings are not uncommon, especially in the higher tiers of society."

_Arranged matings?_, Shepard echoed. That sounded awfully like what nobility did in the Middle Ages. But she had to to learn more about turian culture, before she could judge about them.

"Is there any news about the mission, Commander?", Hon asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yes, there is. We're investigating an excavation site on Therum. Likely prothean, so that's where we'll find Dr. T'Soni. I want you on the ground team."

Hon nodded. "Of course, Commander. I will be ready."

* * *

><p>"That looks like we're going on foot," Garrus commended, glancing to Shepard. For what he's seen so far, her driving style with the Mako was … unsettling at least. <em>Please, don't let her try to drive over this rock formation, <em>he thought. But the Commander just nodded and said "Well, then we're heading out."

She opened the Makos hatch and stepped out into the open, followed by Julius, Tali'Zorah and Garrus himself, weapons drawn. The turian quickly scanned their surrounding for enemies. Nothing. Good.

Shepard originally wanted to bring Alenko along, but he seemed to have a headache. And when Jokers scans confirmed geth activity, she chose the quarian for obvious reasons. Garrus had been worried about Tali's combat capabilities at first, but Julius stood close to her all the time. _That leaves it to me to watch the Commanders six._

On Shepard's signal they slowly walked through a small gap in the rock obstacle that blocked the Makos way. Garrus checked the area: a few small rocks for cover, higher ones to the left and right. Suddenly, his scanner jammed.

"Get to cover!", he shouted and dove behind the nearest rock. Half a second later, Shepard joined him, her own sniper rifle at the ready. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Julius and Tali doing the same ten metres away.

And then the geth attacked. Garrus pulled the trigger. The first geth's head exploded. Half a second later Shepard shot the next one. _One – one,_ Garrus counted. A rocket trooper suddenly crackled with electricity, as Julius' overload hit it. Tali hacked a white geth platform that began gunning down its former allies, while Julius gunned down the rocket trooper.

But more geth came in, faster than they could kill them. Garrus glanced worried to his friend and the quarian, because the geth seemed to push on their location rather than the two snipers.

There was a slight twinkle three metres behind Tali. _Cloak, _Garrus thought, and for a moment his heart stopped. Julius has seen the cloaked geth too and within half a second he was between the geth and Tali, shielding her with his own body. The geth's shotgun unloaded at point blanc range, but the human didn't even stagger as his barriers absorbed the shot.

Then, Julius drew a long knife and rammed it in the side of the geth's neck, effectively severing its processor from the rest of its hardware. Only when the geth unit dropped and Julius got back to cover, Tali recognized what just happened.

"Vakarian! Are you waiting for the geth to surrender or why aren't you doing anything?", Shepard mocked between two shots. That brought Garrus back to the situation at hand. _Damn it, you're in a combat zone. Kee__p your focus!_

"I just wanted to give you an advance. Seemed fair to me.", he answered cocky. Then, Garrus dropped another unit. A few minutes later, the onslaught was over. Garrus checked for any more cloaked geth before lowering his rifle.

"Everyone alright?", Shepard asked. Garrus nodded. Julius gave the thumbs up, as he rose from cover. Only the quarian still crouched behind the rock, shaking slightly. Shepard knelt beside her. "Are you hurt?", she asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

Tali shook her head. "A cloak. It had a cloak. I knew the geth hat this technology, but I didn't watch out for it. _Keelah_, I'm such an idiot!", she stammered. "Can you pull the cloaking device out of it?", Shepard asked gently.

Garrus admired the Commanders ability to work with people. The quarian was doubting herself for not seeing the cloaked geth sneaking up behind them. Now, Shepard gave her something to do she was good at, before they ran into the next horde of synthetics. This care was something not many leaders had. Most of them would have ordered Tali to keep it together and move on – likely making a real mistake.

Shepard noticed Garrus' gaze on her and smiled. "Seven for me, big guy.", she said with a huge grin plastered on her face. A grin, that immediately vanished as Garrus answered "Nine."

* * *

><p>As they headed on, Shepard found herself worrying about Tali. The girl still didn't take it well that the geth sneaked up upon her. <em>I have to watch her closely,<em> Shepard thought. For now however, the quarian focused on the mission, for what the Commander was glad.

Suddenly, there was a red flash of light coming from one of the mining facility's towers. "Sniper!", Shepard yelled and dragged Tali with her into cover. The shot missed her head and stripped Garrus' shields.

Shepard quickly found the sniper on top of the tower reloading its weapon. _Now or never,_ she thought and lined up her own shot. As soon as the cross-hair was on its head, she squeezed the trigger. The geth dropped, and Garrus made a strange noise. Was he trilling? _No, that can't be. Humans can't hear turian __sub-harmonics._

"That was a damn impressing shot, Shepard", Garrus said. His mandibles flared, and he added "But it's still nine to eight for me."

Shepard shook her head grinning at the turians antics. "Let's move, we shouldn't keep the doctor waiting."

They slowly climbed a small hill up to what seemed to be a warehouse in construction, of some sort. Only one wall was finished, and there were crates and steel beams everywhere. _It's too quiet._ They haven't encountered any geth lately and the entrance to the excavation site was up ahead. This eerie silence worried Shepard more than the noise of battle.

"Be cautious, people", she whispered, switching for her pistol. If there was an ambush, she wouldn't have enough time to properly aim with her sniper rifle. Garrus however, didn't switch weapons. She planned to ask him once this mission was over.

They were directly underneath of some steel beams, as something huge hit the ground before them. Shepard recognized it as a geth colossus, flanked by various smaller geth units. _You gotta be shitting me_.

The team dove into cover immediately, and an energy pulse shot past them, erupting the ground behind them. "Tali, hack one of those rocket troopers!", Shepard said. The young quarian nodded and opened her omni-tool, beginning to work on it.

Garrus already had dropped one of the cloaked geth units, and Shepard gunned down the other one. She then heard something up above her and saw a lizard-like geth unit aiming down to her. Before it was able to shoot, Hon made a pulling gesture with his left hand, biotically smashing it into the ground. He then drew his second pistol and gunned another geth down with both of them.

Shepard saw the rocket trooper open fire at the colossus, and Tali overloaded another one. _She certainly knows how to handle herself,_ Shepard thought, _Once she has some self-confidence, I wouldn't want to mess with her._

All in all, Shepard was impressed how fast her team dropped the geth platforms, until only the colossus remained. It destroyed the hacked rocket trooper and everyone opened fire on the hulking geth unit. But no matter what they did, its shields didn't drop.

"We'll be out of ammo, before this thing goes down", Garrus said, voicing her own thoughts.

"Overload on three", Shepard ordered, "One … two … tree!"

Four omni-tools lit up and blue electricity crackled around the colossus, dropping its shields by a fair amount. _It's still not enough!_, Shepard thought. "We could use an EMP", Hon suggested, "but its shields would be up again in a matter of seconds."

"So what? We have to penetrate its armour _and_ kill it in a few _seconds?_ That's crazy, Jul, even for you!", Garrus objected. Shepard was inclined to agree with the turian, as an idea occurred to her.

"Tali, are there any weak points in its armour? Or little vents?", she asked.

"There are some vents, but they're on its belly where you can't reach it.", the quarian answered confused. "Why? What's your plan?"

Shepard took a grenade in her left hand. Tali understood. "_Keelah_, no! It smashes you if it detects any movement beneath it. That's insane!", she protested.

"Hon, if you use that EMP, will it only kill its shields, or will it shut down completely?", Shepard asked the other human. He frowned. "It should shut it down completely", he said slowly, "But I can't promise it." Shepard nodded.

"That's insane, Commander! It will shoot you thrice until you're there. You'll never make it!", Garrus objected. _There is this trill again_, Shepard noticed, but ignored it. Instead, she glared at the turian sniper and said "Then make sure, it doesn't shoot at me."

And with that, Shepard sprinted towards the hulking geth platform, hearing Garrus swear behind her. The team opened fire, and as the colossus fired its energy weapon, it aimed at them and not at Shepard. _Distract the colossus? Check._

A small device shot past her, enveloped in the dark blue glow of biotics. It beeped trice, then the colossus' headlight went black. Shepard was now directly in front of the geth. _Disable shields? Check._

Shepard dove beneath the colossus' belly, the grenade at the ready. She saw the vents, Tali was talking about, activated and put the grenade in one of it. It stuck inside the vent, and Shepard got up, bringing as much distance between herself and the geth platform as possible. _Placing explosives? Check._

The next thing Shepard heard was a deafening explosion and the shock wave hurled her forward several metres. _Destroying ominous geth machine? Check, _Shepard thought, wincing with pain. She heard fast steps closing in and a worried turian kneeling besides her.

"Shepard? Are you hurt?", he asked, obviously worried about what the shock wave had caused. Shepard slowly got up, wincing again, as she felt a sharp pain in her right thigh. She looked down and saw a small piece of metal sticking out of her armour. _Well, that's just fucking great._

Shepard grabbed the shard of the colossus and slowly pulled it out, clenching her teeth. As soon as it was out, Garrus applied some cool medi-gel on the wound, sealing and anaesthetising it. Shepard thanked him and slowly stood up. She staggered a bit, but stabilized fast. The wound wasn't that serious and the pain was just a dumb pounding.

"That was the most risky, unplanned and crazy thing I've _ever_ seen", Garrus scolded her. _Damn, he _really_ was worried about me._ "And it still counts as one.", he added slightly amused.

"Well, then we're even now, I guess", Shepard grinned at him. "Good work, guys. Now, let's grab T'Soni."

* * *

><p>So far, the excavation site was deserted. The crates in the dimly lit caves drew long shadows, giving many opportunities to hide. But the haven't encountered a geth attack yet. Which made Julius even more nervous. Since the cloaked geth tried to kill her, Julius kept an eye on Tali. During the fight with the colossus, she'd remained surprisingly professional. Julius supposed, she let out her frustration on the geth, rather than letting it eat her up from within.<p>

_Good, this lecture she's learned better than I._

Shepard led them through another tunnel, and Julius noticed how smooth the walls were. He wasn't the only one.

"Why are these tunnels so irregular? A mining laser would have cut the stone in a straight line.", Tali said. _At least she still speaks._

"These are no mining tunnels. The caves must have been formed by lava. Question is, why did the protheans build their homes in the middle of a volcano.", Julius answered, remembering the lava seas on the surface. This planet was in an early stage of development, far from becoming a habitable world like Earth or Palaven.

Garrus snorted. "The more important question is: is the volcano still active?"

"Well, we shouldn't provoke anything", Shepard said, "that means no explosives down here."

_Explosives are never a good idea when in a cave,_ Julius thought but remained silent. He was rather impressed by the Commanders leadership abilities and combat skills. And he was very amused about her shooting contest with Garrus. Julius thought, how his friend would take it if Shepard really was the better sniper. _Not so good, I think. But his ego is big enough to handle it._

Shepard rounded another corner and quickly dove into cover. "Drones", she whispered, before shooting one of them. Julius saw another one and smashed it into the next wall with his biotics.

A few minutes later, they entered a larger cave with a tower of some sort on the other side. It was black, even darker as the cave itself, with big oval openings. Most of them were protected by a kinetic barrier. Julius looked down. They were on a walkway near the top of the cave, far beneath them Julius could see the bottom of the cave. Tali gasped and clung to the handrail.

_Of course she fears the hight. She's grown up on ships._

"Look straight ahead.", Julius said to Tali and she nodded.

"Shh!", Shepard signalled them to silence. Julius listened and heard voices down below.

"I suggest you to shut down this barrier now, before I loose my temper", a deep, grumbling voice said. It sounded very much like a krogan. The voice that answered however, was much higher, female, and obviously very scared.

"I already told you, I'm trapped in here. I can't even move!"

"Then tell me, how to cross the barrier, damn it!", the krogan roared. Slowly Shepard's team sneaked forward to get a look at the scene. On the bottom level of the tower, a krogan and several geth stood in front of the blue barrier. Julius couldn't see what was behind it, they were too high for that.

"I have no idea!", the female said, "All I know is, that it has been activated on the terminal on this side. There must be another way in, somewhere, but I don't know where it is."

"Well, I don't have time searching it. Saren wants you, and he wants you now."

Shepard switched to her sniper rifle and signalled Garrus to do the same. Then she pointed at Julius and Tali and gestured at the elevator. Julius nodded and they moved into it, waiting for Shepard to give the signal.

"Why does he even want me?", the female asked.

"You're a prothean expert, aren't you?", the krogan shot back. _So she is T'Soni,_ Julius thought, his assumption confirmed. "You there! Put the charges. We blow right through this thing.", the krogan ordered two of the geth.

"What? Are you crazy? We are in a volcano! These ruins are not stable. You could trigger a seismic -"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?", the krogan bellowed, his voice echoing in the large cave.

Shepard gave the signal and Julius pushed the button of the elevator. Two sniper shots crackled and dropped two geth. The remaining geth immediately scanned the area and dropped into cover. One of them saw the elevator coming down and fired a rocket. _Shit._

Julius held out his arms to expand his barrier, enclosing the elevator. There was no other protection for them, and the rocket exploded on the barrier. The elevator shook violently, and stopped screeching a few metres above the ground.

Tali hacked one of the larger geth units, confusing the remaining geth. From above, Shepard and Garrus shot everything on sight. There was no shelter, so the snipers hit with every shot. Tali covered herself in the elevator cabin, and Julius jumped down to the bottom of the cave, drawing fire away from her.

Julius' barrier began to shimmer, wherever a bullet hit it, and he felt it weaken quickly. Julius sprinted behind a crate to his left, warping a geth who leaned out of cover to shoot Tali. As soon as Julius regained his focus, he dove out of cover again. One geth trooper was in the open, obviously trying to flank him. He lifted it with his biotics, then threw it into the blue barrier. Julius observed the situation: only a few geth remained, pinned down by the others. The krogan was nowhere to see. _Where is he, damn it?_

As to answer his question, something slammed into Julius' side, throwing him through the air. He used his biotics to steady himself, and scrolled as he impacted with the bottom again. The krogan was directly in front of him, ready to finish Julius. He dropped his pistols and grabbed the battle staff from his back, knowing that they were useless in hand-to-hand.

The krogan seemed surprised by the change of weapons, and hesitated one moment. _Big mistake._ Julius swirled the staff and swiftly smashed it down on the krogans leg with all his strength, biotically enhancing the strike even more. It hit right between the armour plates, shattering the krogans knee and he yelled in pain and rage.

Julius dodged the mighty blow the krogan aimed at his face, and immediately smashed his battle staff at the krogan again, this time aiming at his face. It hit him right in the mouth, knocking out some of his teeth and leaving him disoriented. Then, Julius drew a knife and rammed it into the krogans throat, like he did with the cloaked geth. The hulking alien dropped dead, and Julius looked around.

There were no more geth alive, and Tali climbed down from the broken elevator. "Everyone okay down there?", Shepard asked. "We're good", Julius answered and walked toward the barrier. Behind it, he saw an asari floating in some kind of stasis field. The fear was clearly written in her face, and she didn't say anything.

"You're Liara T'Soni?", Julius asked gently, trying not to scare her even more. Which was probably needless, since she'd just watched him executing a krogan. But she nodded, and asked with a shaking voice "Wh-who are you? What do you want with me?"

"You're Benezias daughter, right?"

"Yes. Why? I haven't spoken to her in years."

Julius hesitated for a moment. Then, he asked, "So you don't know anything about her alliance with a rogue Spectre who attacked a human colony?"

"N-no. Nothing. We're cut out from news a bit out here."

"How did you get in there?", Julius asked.

"The – the geth, they came in here. And they – slaughtered people. I panicked and activated the ruins defence system. Well, at least I thought I did."

Julius observed the blue barrier closely. It seemed strong enough to withstand fire, and explosives were a no-go. Tali tried to deactivated it, but shook her head. _Damn it. I hoped, I didn't have to do this._

Julius stepped back from the barrier a bit and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He gathered his biotic energy and focused on the place directly behind the barrier. Then, Julius jumped forward and phased through the blue obstacle. He stumbled and hit the ground, feeling slightly nauseous.

"How did you- ?", the asari began, obviously stunned.

"I've spent some years in an asari Monastery. They taught me how to phase, but … it's rather uncomfortable."

He stepped to the console and asked, which button to press. The barrier shut down and T'Soni dropped from her stasis field. She stood, shaking, and Tali steadied her. The asari nodded her thanks and said, "Back there is an elevator. It should bring us up to the upper walkway."

Once the elevator stopped on the upper level, they were greeted by Shepard and Garrus. "Dr. T'Soni, I am Commander Shepard. I would like you to come with us now.", she said friendly. The doctor nodded, and Shepard called the _Normandy_. "Joker? I need a pick up at the excavation site. Oh, and don't forget the Mako."

Julius recognized the pleasant hum of Garrus' sub-harmonics. "What is it?", he asked curiously. Garrus grinned and gazed at Shepard. "17 to 15."

To Julius' surprise, Shepard clenched her fists, and pretended not to hear the turian while heading out of the cave.


End file.
